Water Dragon Dynasty: Chapter 2

[Water Dragon King]

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Water Dragon Dynasty

VOLUME 1 - Chapter 2
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Chapter 2 - Them’s Fightin’ Words!

*A few hours have gone by since the Pro Wrestling Novella show ended. Most of the wrestlers, staff, and audience had all left and where on their ways to either an airport, a hotel, or home. A couple cars here and there, and a lot of trash, remain in the parking lot. However, in the distance somewhere, there is a feint sound of music. If one were to guess, it sounded like a tropical-kind of music.

A small man is seen walking out the doors of the venue. He was wearing a simple black suit and a blue, and rather exaggerated bowtie. His blondish hair (or whatever was left of it) was combed to the side. In appearance, he almost looked like a long-lost twin of the late Lord Alfred. A cameraman is not far behind from the small man, who turns around as he pulls out an odd-looking mic; like the one Bob Barker had used during his reign on The Price Is Right. He looks at the camera, as if asking if the cameraman was ready. He only gives a thumbs up in response. The small man smiles and proceeds to talk into the mic in a soft, British accent*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
Good evening, folks, and welcome to this PWN.com exclusive clip! My name is Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar the Seventeenth! I’m the personal friend and interviewer of the “Water Dragon King” King Okai Jinyi of the Seven Seas, and the “Samurai of the Sea” Ultimo Sushi……And Squishy The Squid if neither of them are available for comment. As your can probably hear by the music, they are somewhere nearby, and I’m going over there to give you PWN fans the scoop…. “the scoop”? Good God in Heaven, that sounded corny…….Nevertheless, let’s go see the potential Tag Team Champions, shall we?

*Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII then proceeds to turn around and walks off to the source of the music while the cameraman begins to follow. They go around the corner of the building and they see nothing but yet another empty lot. Listening to the music for a moment, Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII deduces that the music is coming from a Toys R Us store nearby to the right. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII points over to it and they both go. After walking down the block, they stand in front of the Toys R Us. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII hears the music now coming from behind the store*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
*enthusiastically* We are getting very close!

<>CAMERAMAN<>
*sarcastically* What a shock…

*Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII sharply turns around and glares daggers through the cameraman’s skull*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
What was that?

<>CAMERAMAN<>
Nothing.

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
Thought not, bitch.

*Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII turns around again as he continues to head towards the back of the building. The music grows louder; the sounds of laughter and applause can now be heard, as well. They reach the back of the place and see a…..well, an interesting sight: A large, yellow, plastic slide with water running down it from a hose rigged onto it via duct-tape; with a Slip-n-Slide that led from the end of the slide to a small, empty area with a hunk of cardboard with a target crudely painted on. There were a few kiddie pools scattered around. There was an area that had dozens of relaxation mats clumped together where King Okai, Ultimo Sushi, Squishy The Squid, and the rest of the Aquatic Minions were sitting and laughing. In the center was a extremely large pile (about seven feet high) of sushi, cheeseburgers, pizza rolls, and other various junk food stacked on plates. Another big pile; this time consisting of cans and 2-liter bottles of Pespi and Mountain Dew is sitting in the corner closest to the entourage. The tropical music as coming from a boom-box located on the top of a trash can.

What they are laughing at, though, was just as interesting, and a LOT more strange. There was a spot on a little platform that had been set up like a play. The background was a huge chunk of plywood that, like the target sign, had a crudely-done painting on it; this is, it resembled a sunny day in a meadow…..Or something like it. A person was on this “stage” and, by no coincidence, was dressed as “El Rey De Reyes” Ceaser Pineda. And, to top it off, he had one of McDonald’s Chicken Salad bowls (complete with ranch dressing) taped onto his head, and even had on plastic handcuffs. The gang was laughing hysterically whilst this person continued the charade*

<>“CEASER SALAD”<>
*woodenly* Oh, look at me! My name is Ceaser Salad! I am an Hispanic-American thug person nobody likes! I hang out with gangs and I partake in illegal activities such as vandalizing things of financial value, trespassing on private property not owned by me, and writing obscene graffiti all over the walls! I had an unpleasant upbringing and I was raised by incompetent parents who would beat on me with spatulas and flying pans and other various cooking utensils whenever I failed spelling tests in my extracurricular school location of choice! I promote gangs, drugs, and gun violence! Due to my distressing lifestyle, I set an incredibly bad influence on children around the world! Oh, look at me! Oh, look at me!

*The Ever So Majestic Kingdom Empire Order of the Seven Seas and the Aquatic Minions continue to laugh loudly. Sushi is rolling on the ground while King Okai himself is practically in tears. As they laugh, “Ceaser Salad” continues*

<>“CEASER SALAD”<>
*still wooden* Talking only about committing heinous felonies is compelling me to go do more illegal things. Perhaps I could mug an old, defensiveness woman on the street? Or, perhaps, I could rob a convenience store? Or maybe I could make a batch of crank-crack to sell for a profit to schoolchildren? Hmm, what should I do?

*Just then, a mangy-looking mutt that was, in all likelihood, picked off the streets, walks onto the stage. It has on a solid black track-jacket and shades tied onto it’s head with shoelaces. It looks around innocently as it wags it’s tail at the speed of sound*


<>“SNOOPY”<>
*pants*

* “Snoopy” then proceeds to start licking himself, which sends the fish-themed people into yet another fit of hysterical laughter. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII smiles as he directs the cameraman to follow him, which he does. As the two edge closer to the group, Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII clears his throat to show he has arrived. However, the laughing is so loud, no one’s able to hear him. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII clears his throat a second time, a bit more loudly, but King Okai doesn’t hear him. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII looks around a bit, then speaks into his odd-looking mic*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
*plainly* Oh look, it’s “The White Tiger” Hanz Kikazi--

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
EGADS!!

*King Okai suddenly jumps up, startling everyone else*

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
*looking left and right* Hanz Kikazi, the White Tiger, is here?! King Okai’s most hated archrival!! Where is he?! Where is he?!

“Hanz Kikazi, the White Tiger, is here?! King Okai’s most hated archrival!! Where is he?! Where is he?!”

*As King Okai is looking around, eyes darting wildly, Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII makes the mistake of tapping King Okai on the shoulder. King Okai blindly turns around and spews out a bright-pink mist. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII quickly dodges it and the cameraman unfortunately ends up taking it in the face full-blast in the Baron‘s place, causing him to drop the camera*

<>CAMERAMAN<>
AAHHH!! MY EYES!!

*The cameraman tries rubbing it out of his eyes as quickly as he can, but to no avail as it begins to take effect. King Okai, Sushi, Squishy, Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII , and the rest of the Aquatic Minions just stand there, looking at each other, and looking back at the cameraman. They knew how potent that particular mist was, they knew what that mist could do. Suddenly, the cameraman stops, and stares off into the distance, eyes bugging out in horror as he suddenly begins talking to himself*

<>CAMERAMAN<>
Mom….? What are you doing to Mr. Coco?

*Everyone begins to slowly back away from the cameraman*

<>CAMERAMAN<>
Ew!! That’s disgusting, Mom! Is--Is that even legal?! And, hold on, why is the creepy old neighbor wearing a dress? *blinks and rubs eyes* And why is Dad riding a unicorn while talking in Chinese?! Wh---*looks around* KATHY?!?! Why are you doing that to the purple monkey?! WHAT’S GOING ON?! What did you people do to---*jerks right to the right*--Al Sharpton?! What-NO!! I didn’t mean it like that and you KNOW it!! Put that chainsaw down!! *sweating profusely* But I don’t WANNA watch The Lovely Bones!! You can’t make me!! NNNNOOO!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!! AAAAAhhhaaaahHhhahHaaahhhhHHHHHHAAAAHaaaaHHHaaHHHHaaAAAAHHHH!!!

*Everyone, but Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII and the cameraman (obviously), are laughing as the cameraman begins running in a circle, waving his arms around and screaming bloody murder, sounding like a woman. The cameraman stops for a moment and runs off in a random direction, still screaming*

<>CAMERAMAN<>
*crying* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHaaaahhhhHAHHhaHHAHAHAAAHhAAAA!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!

*The cameraman finally runs out of view meanwhile everyone else is still laughing. Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII takes the opportunity to make his presence known*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
*taps King Okai on the shoulder* Ahh…..King Okai? King Okai, may I have a word with you?

*King Okai turns his head and finally spots his longtime friend. Smiling brightly, King Okai gets Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII in a bear-hug and begins to wildly trash him around like a shark*

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
ウィンチェスターClaymoreモーニングスター男爵〔大立者〕XVII!! そうでした、それで、とっくにOkai王〔キング〕はあなたに会っていました！

“Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII!! It’s been so long since King Okai has seen you!”

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
It’s only been a WWWwwWWeee---eee--ee--e--ee---eeee---ee--eeekkkk!! Put me ddoooo--oo--ooooo---wwwnnn!!

*Realizing the discomfort his friend was in, King Okai puts him down*

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
とても遺憾に思う　友人.....　それで　するもの　汝がOkai王と議論することを望む？

“So sorry, friend…..So, what does thou wish to discuss with King Okai?”

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
Well….*brushes himself off*…Well, you see, King Okai, earlier tonight, one Antonio Wolfe….He posted a very mean, and rather nasty blog regarding what he plans on doing to you and Ultimo Sushi..

<>ULTIMO SUSHI<>
*concerned* 実際のところ、卿男爵〔大立者〕？ 何正確に彼が例えば私たちについてそうしましたか？

“Really, Sir Baron? What exactly did he say about us?”

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
….I show you….I printed his blog..

*Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to King Okai, who immediately unfolds it as he and Sushi begin to read it*

[++++++++++++++++++++++]

- Earlier that night -

* Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII and Squishy is at a desk in the Baron’s hotel room, snickering and laughing as they copy and paste Antonio Wolfe’s blog onto Microsoft Word, adding a plethora of disgusting comments and switching some of the words around as well*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
This is going to be jolly good, Squishy….

<>SQUISHY THE SQUID<>
*stifles laughter*


[++++++++++++++++++++++]

*King Okai’s eye twitches whilst Sushi begins to gag. Sushi covers his mouth and runs off to a dumpster as he is seconds away from being sick. King Okai’s hands tremble in anger and his blood can be heard boiling*

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
*incensed* スヌーピーはどのようなキング〔王〕のOKAIの直腸を言うことを望んでいます?!?!

“SNOOPY WANTS TO PUT WHAT IN KING OKAI’S RECTUM?!?!”

*King Okai furiously begins tearing apart the piece of paper, clawing and stomping at the pieces as they hover to the ground*

<>KING OKAI OF THE SEVEN SEAS<>
*shakes fist* 何と嫌なことか!! スヌーピーが　である　1　乱された　暴行者が中にトレーニングして、邪道に導かれて 罪のない人の全てに錦鯉をそしてえらに見張りを作ってやり　Okai王との方法でそうした　意図を　発表する　勇気が　どのように　彼が　ある?! 「HOW挑戦HE」とOkai王は言います!!! 土曜日になれば、七つの海のとても常に威厳がある王国帝国注文〔順〕は楽しみにCeaserサラダを実行するものとして、Okai王〔キング〕は個人的に鉄床でのスヌーピーのおしっこを平らにして、不潔な舌〔ことば〕による最も高い丘の最も高い木から彼をつるすものとします!! そして、Okai王〔キング〕と彼の忠実な対象〔主題〕たちの各々がクリケット用バットを入手して、私たちの各々が彼に鳴り響くことを交替でします!!

品位のこの犯罪は不問に付されないものとします!! 死、スヌーピーに!! 死、スヌーピーに！

“How disgusting!! That Snoopy is a deranged, perverted, rapist in training!! How DARE he announce his intentions to have his way with King Okai while making all of the innocent kois and gills watch?! HOW DARE HE, King Okai says!!! Come Saturday, The Ever So Majestic Kingdom Empire Order of the Seven Seas shall execute Ceaser Salad for fun, and King Okai shall personally flatten Snoopy’s wee-wee with an anvil and hang him from the highest tree on the highest hill by his filthy tongue!! Then, King Okai and his loyal subjects will each get a cricket-bat and we shall each take turns beating on him!!

This crime of decency shall NOT go unpunished!! Death to Snoopy!! Death to Snoopy!!”

*King Okai then angrily storms off to wherever, whilst the Aquatic Minions follow him, in an effort to cool him down and reason with him. As soon as he’s out of sight, Squishy and Baron Winchester Claymore Morningstar XVII stay behind and just look at each other in awe*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
That……Wasn’t the best idea in hindsight, was it?

*Squishy only shakes his head. The Baron exhales and scratches his head over the predicament*

<>BARON WINCHESTER CLAYMORE MORNINGSTAR XVII<>
*shrugs* Oh well….